


The Gift

by SoulFlare12



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:27:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23735356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulFlare12/pseuds/SoulFlare12
Summary: It's 1998 and Ivan (64) has been retired from the spy work for almost a decade due to a bad knee injury. His longest partner and the woman he loves, Lily (53), is still active and has struggled with her new partners. Despite her still being in the field, they have maintained their relationship and their bond is as strong as ever. Wanting to give him as much joy as she can, Lily plans a very special gift for him.
Relationships: Ivan/Lily





	1. Office Visit

**Author's Note:**

> Important: This is from a human spy AU that a friend and I have going on our rp blogs. Ivan is her Russia, Lily is based on my East Berlin OC, and Sergei is a human OC for this specific AU verse. I threw it under Hetalia because I had to pick a fandom. But if you're looking specifically for Hetalia stuff, this may not be for you. Nevertheless, I would love if you did read it! I think you may enjoy it all the same. 
> 
> This is part 1 of 2. Some mildly suggestive themes are present but nothing explicit.

The sound of heels clicking on the hard floor echoed through the halls with a familiar beat. Everyone who had been working in the building for longer than a year knew that particular set of steps by now. And everyone knew to stay out of their way. There was always a knife or a gun attached to the legs that took those commanding strides, and hands that were more than capable of delivering the threats that issued from the red lips above. Most everyone glanced away as the blonde strode past, not daring to stare and invite her gaze, though plenty did turn their heads to watch _after_ she had gone by, eyes lingering on the swaying hips. Despite now passing middle age, she was as trim as any young athlete in their prime. Though they may cower before her stare, they could certainly appreciate her figure.

No one had to ask to know which office she was stopping in front of, for there was only one man she ever came to see on her impromptu visits. Whispered words were quickly passed around. If anyone had planned on calling upon Braginsky, they had best reschedule that idea. He never took kindly to any who interrupted her visits with him.

When she had reached the half open door, she stopped short of going inside. The sound of suspiciously flirtatious giggles had reached her ears. She narrowed her eyes and listened.

“Oh, Mr. Braginsky,” cooed the tall brunette, who wasn’t yet 25, “you’re so smart. I can’t believe I didn’t see that. You must think me so silly for missing it.”

The silver haired man sitting behind the desk hummed a bored tune in the back of his throat as he continued to write, staring only at the paper in front of him. Although his beard and wrinkles showed his age, his broad shoulders and tight muscles ensured no one would mistake him for being weak. In addition, the many scars that traced his skin and the impressive cane leaning against the desk spoke of one who had come through decades of battles, battles he had clearly won. That, combined with his perpetual frown and cold, violet eyes, meant that no one dared to bother him beyond what was strictly necessary, and even then, only with caution.

But sometimes, the foolish youths who passed through the doors didn’t learn the lesson right away.

Lily’s already cold eyes gained a murderous gleam as she watched the young woman sit oh so casually on the corner of his desk. With one leg crossed over the other, she carefully nudged the edge of her skirt closer to her body, revealing more of her long, thin legs, which Lily could only describe as pale sticks. But her fists clenched when the girl leaned towards him. Though she could only see her back, Lily knew her button down shirt was most certainly not buttoned up all the way. “Do you think you could show me the rest of it too?” the girl asked sweetly, clearly using a higher voice than normal. “I’m so terribly lost without your help.”

“Oh yes, Mr. Braginsky,” Lily called from the door, perfectly mocking the girl’s tone, “Do show us silly girls.” She added a giggle. She folded her arms and leaned against the door.

The girl nearly fell over when she jumped from the desk and whirled around, her cheeks already gaining a red hue. Ivan, however, finally looked up from his work with a huge grin. “Lilechka,” he said happily, already pulling his cane to him to stand.

Lily strode into the room to meet him halfway. As soon as they were close, they were already in each other’s arms, and he leaned down to kiss her long and slow. He hummed happily as they pulled apart and opened his eyes. “What’s brought you here, darling? Not in need of more spending money already, I hope?” he teased. He glanced up at the girl who was still seething red behind her. “Go on. I think you can figure out the rest on your own. You’re not that incompetent.”

Lily turned her head to smirk at the girl from the corner of her eye. She chuckled softly as she rushed out, closing the door more heavily than required. Then she turned her attention back to Ivan with raised eyebrows. “Is it just me, or are they getting dumber every time?”

He chuckled and planted a soft kiss on her brow. “You may be right. All I know is you gave her quite the shock just now. It was amusing, as always.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Please. That wasn’t even a warm up. That was like the first stretch of a warm up compared to what I’ll do if she keeps this up. What was she so stuck on anyway?” she asked as they walked to his desk. Ivan sat down heavily in his chair, setting his cane aside again. Lily meanwhile, leaned against the side of his desk as she stood next to him, her arms crossed.

Ivan pulled some papers toward himself. “Oh, something about finding the paragraphs that needed to be copied, or something like that. It was such a poor excuse, I’d be surprised if she wasn’t really that dumb.”

Lily snorted and rifled through the papers gently. Then she set them down again, while her expression turned into a false doe-eyed plea. “I’m a little lost too, Mr. Braginsky,” she said, her voice going up once more. “Do you think you could show me? I’m such a silly, willy Lily.” She pursed her lips and batted her eyes.

Ivan wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. She was careful, as she sat on him, to avoid putting pressure on his bad knee. He brushed her bangs aside and kissed her forehead. “I suppose I’ll just have to, won’t I? I can’t have a lost little kitten, after all.” They shared a laugh as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and tucked her face against his neck. He rested his chin on her head and took a deep breath through his nose. “You have a new perfume, which I assume came with this dress. It smells as expensive as the dress looks.” The hand he had placed on her knee slid up to the edge of the light rose pink skirt. “When did you get them?”

“Just during this past mission. We were in Paris, after all. How could I pass up the chance? Do you like it?”

“Darling, you could wear a potato sack and you would look stunning in it. But yes, I do like this one, quite a bit. It suits your figure well,” he said, the corner of his lip rising in an eager grin, “and yet still so professional. You might give the young ladies out there some tips.”

Lily frowned and grumbled in her throat. “Only if they take their husband hunting elsewhere, the little cats. I wish I could marry you for real. Maybe then they would give up hope of becoming your young bride. I thought maybe, when the Soviet government fell, we might be able to, but the agency…” She sighed and pressed her face deeper into his shoulder.

Ivan’s hand moved from her legs up to her hair, which he twirled gently around his fingers. “I doubt it would stop them pursuing me. Not as long as I have cash and a large house. But if it means so much to you, we could elope. No one would have to know until it was done.”

“No, no, I…I mean, yes, it’s a lovely idea, and I love you for it. But I want us to really marry, and do it in the open. I want to get to plan something nice, and invite my brothers and watch Fritz cry, because I know he’ll cry. I want to wear a nice, long dress, and you’ll be in your best suit, and we’ll have the best food and wine, and a good band so we can dance all night, or as long as you think you can. And then we’ll go on a magnificent honey moon. Won’t it be nice to go around foreign hotels and not have to check for bugs or hiding gunmen in the closet?”

Ivan’s eyebrows were raised high. “It does sound nice. It also sounds like you’ve been planning this for a rather long time. Am I going to find a box of bridal magazines stuffed under the bed when I go home?”

“ _No._ ” She paused, then added in a mumble, “I keep them in my lab.”

He tugged her hair playfully with a laugh. “Well, when the time comes, I’m sure you’ll plan something as perfect as you. Speaking of the lab, I’ve hardly seen you this week. You’ve been holed up in there. What are you working so diligently on, my little lab mouse? You haven’t been asked to develop a new drug for my clients to sell, have you? Because if they try to involve you with this behind my back…”

“No, no, no!” Lily sat up straight and looked him in the eyes. “No, it’s nothing like that, I promise. And I would never go behind you like that, no matter what they asked or promised. Don’t trust them, but do trust me, my bear.” She kissed his cheek. “It’s, ah…well, I can’t say it yet, but I promise you will know very soon. It’s a surprise, but a good one. I promise.”

“You have me on the edge of my seat. Very well, I’ll wait for you to show me, though I am very curious.”

She clucked her tongue and wagged her finger before pushing it into the tip of his nose. As he scrunched his face and pushed her hand down, she grinned. “Patience, patience. It will do you no good to try to peak anyway. It won’t make any sense. Ah, anyway, I came here for a reason, and not just to terrorize your secretary or sit on your lap.”

“No?” His eyebrows were raised. “Those are both perfectly good reasons to come. You know I enjoy when you do either, and getting both in the same day is an absolute treat.”

“Ha, I know. And I love to do it too. But I came here to tell you I’m planning something special tonight. Part of it is a bit of a surprise, which I know you’ll love. But I just wanted to tell you that we’ll be having a very nice dinner beforehand, and I want you to be on your best behavior.”

His brow creased in confusion. “Why would I not be?” His frown gradually deepened. “Don’t tell me _he’s_ coming over.”

She sighed, signaling without words that his guess had been accurate. “Yes, Vanya, Sergei is coming over. I asked him to, because I want this to be special. He’s going to play his violin for us after dinner. I think you’ll like it. He’s very good.”

Ivan was glowering and rolled his eyes savagely. “I doubt it. And I don’t exactly care for you to be bringing unwanted guests over into _my_ house.”

Lily frowned back at him. “He’s not an ‘unwanted guest,’ he’s my partner, and practically like a little brother or a son to me. I _am_ going to invite him over occasionally, and you _won’t_ be acting violently towards him.”

“You will not tell me what to do in my own house!” he yelled.

She jumped off his lap so she could stand, facing him with her arms crossed tightly at her chest. “I live there too!”

“Not technically! Not since you took on new partners!”

“That wasn’t my choice, and I practically do live there and you know it! _You_ wanted me to stay just as badly as I did! I only sleep at the other place when I’m about to leave! It _is_ my home, and _you’re_ my partner as far as I’m concerned and you always have been!”

That made him snap his mouth shut. Unable to think of a response that he wouldn’t regret, he turned his chair away in a huff, crossing his arms as well. Lily glared at the back of his head for a minute and then turned and walked away, toward the center of the room. Her voice was a normal volume when she spoke again.

“I don’t get why you’re so mean to him even now. He’s been with me for over a year and he’s proved himself well. He works hard and he listens. He’s learning fast. He has a kind heart in him, despite everything. He’s a better person than any of us. He doesn’t deserve all those threats and snide remarks you throw at him.”

“I seem to recall you thinking rather highly of your last partner as well,” he said, turning his chair around to stare at her back, “and look at how that turned out. You were so excited to have Sonya, and you mentored her as though she were your own daughter. You had her in the house all the time and you loved her. And look at what happened. I know you still have the scar from where she stabbed you. I see it every time you undress, and I’m reminded of how close she was to us and how much she hurt you.”

He saw her shoulders rise as she became immensely tense. Her nails dug into her upper arms. He rose to his feet with his cane and walked over to her. He put a hand on her shoulder and tried to turn her around, as he often did, but this time she refused. “Lilechka,” he said softly.

“I don’t want to talk about her!” she finally snapped. Although her face was still turned, he could hear from her voice that tears were brimming in her eyes. “I told you, I never want to talk about her. How could you bring her up like this? You know how much it hurts me.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “And I don’t want to see you hurt like that again. I refuse to stand by and allow anyone to do that to you ever again. I want to keep you safe, and if that means angering the entire world with my threats and glares then so be it.”

She was quiet for a minute. Then, she turned her head to look over her shoulder at him. “I am a spy,” she said, her voice cracking on the final word. “That is the risk I chose to take when I entered the school at 16. To go through life alone, never trusting or being trusted. Anyone could turn on me.” She turned to face him all the way. “Even you.”

His cane fell to the floor with a solid thud as he put his other hand on her shoulder and squeezed both tightly, enough to cause some pain, though she didn’t show it. His eyes contained the force of a storm in their gaze. “I would never.” She couldn’t tell if his voice contained more anger or hurt, but both were present. “I would never, and you know that. I did not do it when you were drugged and told to shoot me, even after Gurkovsky ordered me to do so if you did that. I have never once abandoned you or even thought to betray you. I even kept myself alive, solely for you. Do not, do _not_ say that I would hurt you.”

Her eyes softened with regret and she looked down. She uncrossed her arms and reached up with her left to put it over his hand. “You are right. I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I should not have said that. You are truly the best thing to ever happen to me. The safest place in the world for me is in your arms.”

He pulled her into a tight embrace without a second thought. She pressed her face into his shoulder and squeezed him in return. He stroked her hair, and they stood like that for several minutes, the only sound coming from the clock on the wall. Then she turned her head to speak.

“I’m sorry I’ve made you mad. I’ll ask you next time before inviting anyone. I just…I really wanted this to be a nice, little thing, and I thought maybe you two could get to know each other a little more. And he really does play nicely.”

Ivan stared at the wall in front of him. All he could picture in that moment was the memory of seeing her in the hospital, getting stitches in her side where _the snake_ had stabbed her, and her collapsing into a sobbing mess as she struggled to relay the story of the betrayal. Had she not begged him to stay by her side, he would have sought out the bitch to beat her to death with his cane, his bad knee be damned. Spy or not, he wouldn’t allow her to be hurt like that ever again. He glanced down at her. All the same, he could not keep her locked away, out of reach of all company. Like a flower deprived of sunlight, she would wither away in such conditions.

A low grumbling came from the back of his throat before he spoke. “If you have already planned this and invited him, I suppose there isn’t anything to be done. I will be there after work, and I will…” He grimaced, then continued. “I will not _hurt_ him, but I make no other promises. I will not promise to not threaten him.” The boy, he thought, did need to be reminded just whose house he was in, and that it was only under very special circumstances.

The corner of her lip twitched up and she closed her eyes, relaxing against him. “Thank you, Vanya. It means so much to me that you are so willing to do this, even when you don’t like it.”

He huffed. “I spoil you. I ought to say no to you more often.” But he was now smiling. They both knew he would give her the world if she simply asked, and he would use any method necessary to deliver it. “What is so special about tonight anyway? It’s not our anniversary.”

“No.”

“And it’s not our birthdays.”

“No.”

He squinted at her. “It’s not _his_ birthday?”

“What?” She looked shocked for a moment. “What? No, of course not. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

He made a face to say that he didn’t fully believe her on that, but he wouldn’t argue, so long as she was telling the truth about tonight. “Then what is it?”

“You’ll see. It’s a surprise. But I promise you will be very, very happy this evening.” She glanced at the clock on the wall. “But you know, you don’t have to wait until tonight to have some fun.” She already had a wide grin on her face. From his expression, she could see he was thinking the same thing. “We could have a nice time right here and now.”

An almost predatory growl rumbled from him as he enveloped her lips with his. She felt his hand moving up her back, grasping for the zipper of her dress. He pulled his face away by barely an inch to speak. “You do spoil me sometimes, Lilechka.”

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as she felt the back of her dress start to part. “It’s hardly spoiling you when you deserve every minute of it.” She kissed him deeply once more as he pushed her towards a wall. Then she pulled back and put a finger on his lips. “Just one thing. I want you to make sure I’m loud. I want to make that pale little bird outside insanely jealous, and embarrassed that she ever thought she could win your attention. Even if she’s on the other end of the building, I want her to hear us.”

He grasped the back of her hair and bit her lip. “The whole world is going to hear it then,” he whispered against her skin before pressing her against the wall.

* * *

Ivan sat at his desk in his pants and undershirt. He was leaning forward slightly, filling out paperwork with one hand while the other squeezed her knee gently. Lily had only put on his navy blue sweater (one she had knitted for him, of course) before curling up on his lap. The only other thing she wore was her knife garter, which he had insisted she keep on during the whole time.

She hummed softly as she played with the strands of his hair. Then she kissed his cheek, bringing a smile to his lips. “I do hope I’m not limping out of here,” she said, “I still have a little more to do, and I have to cook.”

“You wanted to be heard. I think I delivered that. You can’t complain now.”

“And I’m not. It was wonderful, and I bet they could hear it from the moon. But that wall is hard.”

His expression faltered. “If my knee were as it used to be…”

She quickly kissed him on the lips to stop his words. “Hush. Don’t go into that. You’re wonderful as you are. I shouldn’t have said that then. I have never been disappointed. You’re always spectacular.”

He set his pen down and put her hand in his, bringing it to his lips for a long kiss. “It helps that you’re tiny and flexible, and always so willing for anything.” He smiled at her. “You shouldn’t discredit yourself. Many of the young men here are now jealous because they’ve realized they’ve never had anything close to as good as what you give me. It may soon be your turn to get chased by young suitors, looking for a good time.”

“And here I thought I was the wrinkly hag.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Well, if it comes to that, we know what the solution is. I’ll have to make you shout my name for all the world to hear.”

He kissed her for a long moment. “In that case, I hope they start chasing you soon.”

She pressed her forehead against his and closed her eyes. Then she kissed him on the nose before standing up and stretching with a moan and a wink to him. “Well, I do need to start cooking, so I must be off.” She pulled off his sweater and tossed it at him. He didn’t put it on yet, choosing instead to watch as she slowly and very deliberately dressed herself in the middle of the room. The last to go on were her Louboutin heels. She stood at the door and smirked at him. “I hope I didn’t make you get too far behind on your work, darling. You mustn’t be too late.”

He was leaning back in his chair with a wide grin as he played with the pen in his hands. “I assure you, I will be perfectly on time. I won’t make you delay it by even a minute.”

She blew him a kiss and left. As she was walking out, she spotted his secretary in a huddle with other office girls of the same age. Remarkable, she thought, how they all looked the same. How did anyone bother learning their names when they could so easily replace each other? As she passed, the girls glared at her and then turned back to each other. She could hear his secretary speaking.

“It was so disgusting, ugh! You wouldn’t believe the sounds. It was like a fat old cow with indigestion. “

“Or a dying whale,” added another girl with a laugh. “I don’t know why keeps her, she’s so old and ugly. Just look at that fat ass.”

“You know they’re not even married, right?” the secretary went on. “So it can’t be too long before he finally dumps---“ The rest of her sentence was lost in the screams of all the girls. Lily had whirled around within seconds and had drawn her knife from her thigh. As she shoved the girl against the wall and pressed the blade to her throat, the girls screeched and called for help. The one under her hands trembled and started to sob.

Lily was grinning, but there was a dark gleam in her eyes. “You know something?” she said, leaning in to whisper into her ear, “You girls all look the same. Tall, stick thin, pale. You’re all like posts in the same, boring fence. Perhaps I can help you with that, hm? Maybe carve your initials into your forehead?” She moved the knife up slowly until the tip hovered above the center of her brow. “Maybe then we’ll remember your name.”

The girl glanced to the side and a look of relief seemed to sweep over her. Behind Lily, the others were sobbing and pleading with whoever was walking up. “She just pulled out a knife out of nowhere!”

“She’s insane!”

“Oh my god, do something!”

“Well, well, what do we have here?” said the familiar voice. Lily smirked as she turned to see Ivan standing with one arm behind his back and a grin on his face. He had put on his sweater before coming out. He clucked his tongue and shook his head. “My, my, Lilechka, you are a naughty little kitten.” He smirked as he reached down for her knife hand. He pulled her away from the girl and towards him, his other hand going to her waist. They looked as though they might dance, if he weren’t holding a cane in one hand while she held a knife in hers. “I thought you were on your way home, and here I find you pulling knives on other people? You know how much I enjoy watching that.” He lowered his head to her level and his voice became deeper. “Are you trying to seduce me in the hallway now? Want another round after all?”

Lily nipped the bottom of his lip. “Mm…tempting. But no. I just thought I would tease you a little more. Make sure you miss me the moment I’m out of your sight.”

Ivan immediately kissed her deeply, pushing her against the secretary’s desk that was behind her. She moaned and leaned back, letting him push her all the way down. They made out for several minutes before he pulled away. “And now you’ll miss me in return, I hope.”

She laughed. Then she looked to his side. All the girls were long gone. “I’m afraid you may have to advertise for a new secretary soon. Possibly for several, actually.”

He sighed dramatically and straightened up. He pulled her against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “That will be the fourth one this year alone. Soon I’ll be banned from having any. Are you determined to terrorize the entire population of young women?”

“Only as long as they keep trying to move in with you. You’re too handsome for your own good.”

He shook his head. “Too rich, you mean. But perhaps for the next one I should find an older, married one. Then maybe you can come and go in peace.”

“Even that isn’t a guarantee she won’t chase after you. You’re handsome, rich, and, as we demonstrated, a remarkable love maker. I’m surprised I don’t come in each time to find ten of them hanging off your arms.”

He rolled his eyes. “I think you may be over exaggerating just a bit, dear.”

“Oh don’t act so modest now. I know you’re a prideful man, Vanya. And I also know you love watching me pull a knife on them or making out with you to make them jealous. So keep the young, catty ones coming, if you want to keep enjoying visits like this.” 

“In that case, the next one will be a pure spoiled brat for you to play with.”

The shared another long kiss, this one filled more with love than lust. Then she stepped back from his arms. “This time I am going, old bear. I’ll see you soon.” He nodded. He stood in the hall and watched her back until she was completely out of sight. Then he looked at the papers that were stacked on the desk behind him. He sighed. He had a talent for getting the girls who did the worst at simple secretarial jobs, it seemed. But, if it was more likely to earn him visits like this, he would gladly put up with all the incompetency in the world.


	2. The Dinner

Ivan was humming when he came through the door that evening. He held in his hand an expensive bouquet of her favorite flowers. As he walked in, he was greeted by a deep, happy bark emanating from a huge mass of brown fur. His entire face lit up. “Ah, my little darling. My sweet big girl.” He set the flowers down carefully on a small table so he could properly greet the giant dog who was eagerly trying to lick his face and put her paws on his shoulders. He laughed and hugged her, scratching her behind the ears. “And what have you been up to all day, hmm? Guarding my castle and eating the intruders?” The dog barked and wagged her tail with such force that her whole body moved with it. He laughed and scratched her again before cupping her face with his hands. “That’s my good girl. You keep us safe, hmm?”

He picked up the flowers again and walked further into the house, the large dog happily walking beside him. “Lilechka!” he called. The dog barked, as though repeating what he said. He heard her voice coming from the direction of the kitchen, as he had expected. He made his way in that direction as quickly as possible, hoping to catch her while she was still in an apron. She always looked cute in one. Just as he was smiling at the image in his head and entering the living room, his eyes caught sight of something that brought an instant glare to his features.

Sitting on the couch ( _his_ couch) was a tall young man who was humming to himself. He was clean shaven (though Ivan doubted he could even grow a beard), with light brown hair and large chestnut eyes. Unlike Ivan or even Lily, he hardly bore any marks of a spy yet. But then, he had only been in the field for a year, and the academy was not nearly as brutal as it had been in their days. As soon as he saw Ivan, he jumped to his feet and held out his hand. “Agent Braginsky, sir. So glad to see you…“ His words faded at the end and he swallowed upon seeing the expression on Ivan’s face, which was nothing short of murderous intent. If Ivan could kill with his eyes alone, the boy before him would nothing but dust now. He lowered his hand and took a step back.

“What are you doing here?” Ivan growled.

“L-lily invited me, sir. I thought she said she told y—“ 

“You will address her as _Agent Brandt_ , boy! And you will not talk back or question me! Certainly not in my own house.” He took a threatening step forward, forgetting that it was flowers in his hand, not a knife, though he could be just as lethal with the plants as anything else if he desired it. “I asked you a question. Answer it!” He took another step forward. As he did, Sergei stumbled back and fell onto the couch.

“Ah—Ag-Agent Br-Brandt invited me, sir. She wanted me to come for dinner a-and play my violin for you.” He seemed to be trying to sink into the couch and disappear entirely within the leather.

Ivan hovered over him like a hawk about to step on a snake’s head. “Get off my couch,” he said a low rumble. “Get off! You do not get to sit on _my_ couch, boy! Not while I’m alive. And right now it looks like I’ll be outliving you.” Sergei scrambled to somehow get off without accidentally bumping into Ivan as he did. As he stood up, Ivan took another threatening step toward him, backing him into a corner. He opened his mouth to continue yelling.

“VANYA!” The sharp voice cut through the air like a knife being thrown directly at them. They both stopped and turned to see Lily glaring in the door frame, still in the apron, and with a wooden spoon in her hand. She marched over to Ivan. Despite being the shortest of them all, both men were familiar with her ferocity. She was not one to be dismissed easily.

She grabbed Ivan by the front of his sweater and dragged him a few feet away. “You said you would be on your best behavior,” she angrily whispered to him, “You promised you wouldn’t hurt him.” She stuck the spoon in his face, like she was point a blade at him instead.

He pushed the spoon away with a grumble. “I haven’t hurt him. I haven’t laid a finger on him.”

“You were practically about to strangle him.”

“I was telling him to address you properly, and to get off of _my_ couch.”

“And just where is he supposed to sit while I finish cooking?”

“He can stand. Preferably outside.”

“He is not going to stand this whole time, and he is not going to wait outside.”

“Then I’ll bring him a wooden stool with a tack glued on.”

Lily glared, pushing the spoon back in his face as though it were just her finger. “Don’t you even think about it. I’ll have him sit at the dining table then. Ah! No!” she added as he opened his mouth to argue, “You are not going to say no to that. He will stay off everything else if that’s what you want, but he is going to sit in a proper chair for dinner. I told you, I want this to be nice.”

Ivan smacked the spoon away. He glared at her in silence for several minutes. Inside his mind, deep down, he knew she was right. He had already agreed to let the boy come. He could stomach him sitting on a dining room chair for a single meal and then leaving. “Fine. But he better keep his mouth shut the whole time. I don’t want to hear a peep out of him unless he’s begging me for mercy.”

Lily rolled her eyes but gave no argument. If she let him cool down first, then maybe he would become more reasonable. Her eyes then glanced down at the flowers. She had barely noticed them at first in her haste. Ivan saw her eyes dart down, and he held them up towards her. “I brought you flowers.”

She tucked the spoon under her arm and slowly took the bouquet with both hands. She momentarily buried her face in the sweet smelling petals. When she looked up again, she was smiling. “They’re wonderful. Thank you. I’ll put them in a vase and we can have them on the table.” She stepped closer to him and stood on her toes. “Kiss?”

He wrapped his free arm around her waist and leaned down to kiss her tenderly. As they pulled back, he brushed some of her hair behind her ear, then held her chin gently with his knuckles. “You look cute like this. I’m tempted to rip all those clothes off and take you right here.”

She laughed and shook her head. “If you did, the food would get burnt. Don’t you dare make me burn the food now. I worked hard on it all day.”

“I would never.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m going to wait in my office. I want some peace and quiet for a short time. Call me when it’s ready.”

“Alright.” She smelled the flowers deeply again, smiled at him, then turned and walked away with a hum. Ivan, once again, watched her figure. He could tell she was swinging her hips more than usual for him. When she was out of sight, he whistled for his dog to follow him to his office.

When Lily was in the kitchen, she called for Sergei. He arrived swiftly, looking both eager and nervous. “Sergei, be a dear and get that vase down for me, would you? The green one.” He quickly obliged, and took it to the sink to fill with water.

“Where would you like it, ah…Agent Brandt.”

Lily sighed. “You only have to call me that when he’s around. I’m sorry he went off on you like that. I didn’t think he would be quite that angry today. And you can set it on the table there.”

Sergei did as she asked. As she followed to put the flowers in, he asked her, “Did I do something? I didn’t think I did anything. The couch, I…ah, I’ll remember that.”

Lily huffed as she fiddled with the flowers to make them look perfect. “Oh, it’s not the couch that’s the problem. Though it is probably for the best if you stay off it for now, I guess. I think he was just hoping he would have me to himself when he came home. I didn’t realize that you being here first would annoy him so much. Perhaps next time I’ll make sure you come in later.” She frowned, and moved a small white flower around. “Then again, had you interrupted anything in between us, that might have made him even angrier. He once threw a man by his collar down the office hall because he came in while were uh…,” she cleared her throat, “well, while were being intimate.” And on Ivan’s desk, no less. That had been extremely embarrassing. “I was shocked he didn’t straight up murder him by throwing him out of a window. Then again, I don’t think I’ve seen that man ever since that day.” Her brow creased. She had never thought of it before, but she now realized that the man was missing. It didn’t surprise her.

She looked up to see that Sergei had gone pale and had a terrified look on his face. “You’ll be fine,” she hastened to add. “He won’t kill you while I’m around. He knows that would drive me away.” Though she couldn’t make promises about his health besides that. “Help me finish making the food and setting the table. The sooner he’s fed, the happier he’ll be.”

Up in his office, Ivan had closed the door tightly and limped his way to his chair. He groaned as the fire shot through his leg. It was all he could do to keep from shouting in pain. He breathed heavily as he put his head in his hands. The truth was, his knee was the central cause of his anger, more than the boy downstairs. He certainly had his reasons for distrusting him, after Lily’s last partner nearly killed her, and he had to keep the kid on edge so he knew that even the thought of betraying her would result in the most painful death imaginable for him. However, tonight, with his knee in such pain, the sight of his face had brought on a surge of bitter jealousy. He was reminded that he wasn’t the healthy young agent he had once been, the best in the agency, if not the world. He had gone on countless adventures, fighting all manners of enemies and seeing sights few humans could dream of. Most importantly, he had been at her side the whole time. He had been the one to keep her safe, to guide her through the challenges, to make her laugh, and to hold her close at night. Now, she was still going out there into danger, with younger, less reliable agents that she had to take care of. And Ivan? He had to sit in an office and hope that each time she went out would not be the last time he saw her face, while annoying little men ran around with papers for him to sign and skinny girls clung to his arms, hoping for sex and money.

He felt like a waste. The only reason he kept at it, instead of diving into an ocean of alcohol and eventual death was that he knew it would bring her down with him. She would follow him straight into the abyss without a second thought, just for the chance of being with him for as long as possible. Had it been only his own death to think about, he would hardly give it a second thought. But he would never bring about hers. She was his life, as much as she said he was hers. As long as she breathed, he would stay on, fighting for her even as his bones grew brittle. The corner of his lips twitched up. He was such a fool, to fall like this, and maybe she was foolish too, to get so attached. But they had trapped themselves together a long time ago, and there was no getting out without the other. He didn’t mind though, not in the least. In fact, the thought of it made him happy.

A large wet nose pressed against his good leg brought him out of his thoughts. The bearlike dog whined and tilted her head. He smiled and rubbed her between her ears. “I know. I’m sorry. I can’t today. Maybe your mom can later.” As she licked his hand, he noticed that her muzzle was starting to appear paler. “Are you getting some gray hairs too, my darling princess? You can’t be that old yet, surely.” She shoved her nose under his hand to receive more pets, which he happily gave. “Well, you’ll be a fine old queen then.”

He sighed deeply and pulled his hand away as another pain shot through his leg. He groaned and, as he rubbed his knee with one hand, he reached for a bottle of pills beside him. They never got rid of the pain like he wished, but they did sometimes bring it down to a dull throbbing. He ran his hand through his hair and then rested his forehead in it, his elbow propping him up. He would never admit it to her, but often times Lily’s office visits meant his leg was set to be in more pain than usual afterwards. He didn’t want to discourage her from coming. Somedays it was the only thing that got him through without storming off or strangling someone. And he knew that she tried her best to make it as comfortable for him as possible. There were several things they had enjoyed in the past that he couldn’t do now, and she never once complained, choosing instead to pleasure him as much as possible. Nevertheless, his knee was nearly always on fire afterwards. What he wouldn’t give to be that younger man for one more afternoon, to give her the pleasure she deserved without falling into a torrent of pain that sometimes made him wish those condescending doctors had just amputated the whole thing off.

Once again he was pulled from his thoughts, this time by a series of soft knocks on the door. As it opened, Lily stepped in. She had changed out of the apron and into a dark green skirt and a cream button down shirt. She had her hair pulled up in a quick bun, which was loose enough to let some strands of hair down. Ivan smiled automatically. He loved the way she looked.

“Vanya?” she said, her voice so soft it was nearly a whisper. She walked over, giving the dog a good scratch as she did. When she was next to him, she leaned in and kissed him. Then, she stood behind him and squeezed his shoulders before massaging them. “What’s wrong? I mean, what’s really wrong. Don’t just say it’s Sergei. I know that’s not the whole picture.” When he turned his head away, she bit her lip. “You’re in pain, aren’t you? Your leg? Is it because we had sex in your office?”

Ivan closed his eyes. Sometimes, he thought, she was a little too intuitive. But they had promised not to lie to each other. “It is a bit hard on my knee, sometimes. But you shouldn’t feel bad. I still enjoy it.”

She pushed her forehead against the top of his head. “I’m so sorry, Vanya. I should have realized. If you don’t want me to tempt you any more, I won’t. I don’t want you to feel like you have to.”

Ivan immediately spun his chair around and pulled her onto his lap. He kissed her for a long minute. “Don’t. Don’t stop, Lilechka. I enjoy it. I want it. I don’t mind the pain. What? Do you think I’m such a weak old man that I can’t handle a sore knee in exchange for an afternoon of pleasure with you?”

Lily’s eyes widened. “What? No, of course not. Vanya, please, you’re still probably the strongest man I know, at least in terms of handling life’s challenges. I’m not doubting you. I just don’t want to be the one who causes you pain.”

“Not getting to enjoy you and rub it in their faces would cause me more pain than any busted knee.”

Lily couldn’t keep the smile off her face. “In that case, we’ll keep trying to find something that doesn’t hurt as much. Perhaps next time I should be the one to lift you against the wall.” As she spoke, she poked his nose.

He smirked. “That would be a very horrible idea, dear. If you lost your grip and I fell on you, you would be squashed, like a mouse under an elephant.” He pinched her cheek. “Is that what you want, darling? Hmm?”

She squealed and pushed his hand away. “Vanya, please!” Then she suddenly smirked and leaned in towards his face. Her hands played with the back of his hair. “I don’t know, maybe I do want that. I might be into it. Maybe this whole time I’ve just been looking for a big strong man to flatten me under him.” She gave him a peck on the lips. He grinned back and then tickled her sides. She laughed and squirmed around. “Vanya!”

“Well, if that’s what you really want, you should have said so sooner.” He laughed. “I could sit on you then. Or would you prefer that I step on you instead? Either way, it would not take much pressure to squish you into the microscopic realm.” He released her from his tickling and wrapped his arms around her sides, pulling her in closer. He smirked and, as he spoke, his voice became a deep whisper. “Or, would you prefer to be pounded flat overnight? Is that what you’re after?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and stopped her giggling. She leaned in to kiss his cheek before answering. “Those all sound lovely. But I think I would like a different option. I think I’d like to be crushed between your arms, in one of your marvelous bear hugs.” She nuzzled her cheek against his. She loved the feel of his beard tickling her. “That seems like the perfect way to die.”

He gave her a tight squeeze for several seconds, which brought a laugh out of her. “I’ll bear that in mind. When you wish to depart this forsaken planet, you need only ask, and I shall give you a hug like no other.”

She giggled and kissed him. After enjoying a quiet moment of gazing at each other, she said, “Well, I didn’t come up here to get crushed by you yet. Dinner is ready. We don’t want the food to go cold, do we? I worked so hard on it.”

“Far be it from me to make your cooking go to waste, dear. And I am starving. I hope that boy hasn’t gone and eaten it all already.”

She rolled her eyes as she stood. “For your information, Sergei has been very polite and helpful. There will be plenty for you to eat.” She neglected to inform him, however, that Sergei was a voracious eater, despite being thinner than Ivan.

She glanced down at his stomach. “Though really, for your sake, you ought to eat a little less.” She poked him in the gut. “You are starting to become a fat old bear.”

He glared and smacked her hand away. “It only appears that way because you keep getting smaller, somehow. Did you accidently give yourself a shrinking solution?” Despite his protests, he knew she was right. With his knee as it was, exercising was much more difficult, and, combined with the facts that he was entering old age and had days where he drank more alcohol than water, the weight was easier to gain than lose now.

“Hmm, well, I’m going to make sure to include a lot more vegetables and fewer carbs from now on. You know that if you put on too much, it will make your knee worse.”

He stood up with a grumble. “I can take care of myself, woman.” Lily didn’t retort, but just waited for him. They both knew he would probably listen, just simply on his own terms and without admitting to it. By the time they entered the dining room, they were holding hands.

Ivan glared at Sergei, who, he was annoyed to see, would be sitting directly to his left. He had expected it. Lily would never make him sit at the opposite end of the table or throw off the balance of the arrangement in any way. But he wasn’t going to let him think that he was okay with it. He was glad to see that the young man’s smile fell and his eyes looked down under his intense gaze. Then, the older man turned his attention to the delicious smells and the stunning array from which they emanated. Upon the table, there was a creamy white soup, a meticulously arranged salad, roasted vegetables, and, at the center, a marvelous roasted veal loin, which was dripping in red juices.

Ivan pulled her in by the waist before she could sit and kissed her tenderly. He then whispered in her ear, “If I gain several pounds tonight, it’s your fault.”

She smiled and kissed him in return, then whispered back, “Well if that does happen, I’m sure we can find a way to quickly work them off.” Before he could try to take that offer up in that instant, she separated herself from him and sat down. He chuckled and followed suit at the head of the table.

After they had all filled their plates and began to eat, Lily looked over to him. “Vanya, you never said if that girl quit or not. Did any of them stay on after this afternoon?”

Ivan was slicing into the meat on his plate, but he glanced over with a grin. “Surprisingly, not one of them has left yet. But I did get quite the cold shoulder from them for the rest of the day, and several files slammed on my desk, rather than being placed nice and neat. She’s also suddenly a lot more competent now. Didn’t ask for help once. I suppose I’ll have to keep her on now.”

“Oh, that’s a shame,” she said before sipping her wine. “I must be losing my touch if that didn’t get her to leave. I guess I’ll just have to try _harder_ ,” she said with a look that earned a smirk from him, “or else be more creative.”

Ivan, who had been pointedly ignoring Sergei, now glanced over to him in time to see him laughing quietly. A scowl came to his face immediately. “What do you find so funny, boy? Do you think it’s amusing that young women try to drive me away from my Lilechka just because they want my money?” Sergei shook his head and barely opened his mouth before Ivan continued, “Or are you laughing at her yourself? Making fun of her in your head?”

Lily kicked his shin under the table. “ _Vanya_ ,” she hissed, “you promised to behave. He clearly just found my joke funny.

He glared at her before turning it back to Sergei. “So, you like to picture us having sex then, do you? Is that it?”

Sergei choked on his drink and could barely keep the liquid in his mouth. He sputtered and quickly shook his head. “N-no, sir! No. Of course not.”

Ivan’s eyebrow was raised. Sergei knew that signaled even graver danger now. The older man leaned towards him. “So then, you think it’s gross that we have sex, is that it? Because we’re old, and you don’t think your elders should get to enjoy that pleasure in life like you young people. Is that what you think? What if I cut off your cock and deprive you of it for good?”

Sergei was leaning as much as he could to his side, as Ivan had leaned in closer to him as the threat progressed. He swallowed. “N-no, sir, I, I uh---“

“THAT’S ENOUGH, IVAN!” shouted Lily. She had stood quickly and slammed her hands on the table. She leaned towards Ivan with a pointed finger. “I told you, I don’t want you to ruin this dinner! You can save your stupid threats and mind games for another day, but this ends now!” She and Ivan both glared at each other in silence for several long minutes. Sergei didn’t dare move, or even breathe too loudly as he watched them carefully, his eyes flicking between the two. Slowly, Lily sat down again as Ivan straightened up.

It was another several minutes before anyone began to eat again. This time, they sat in a tense silence the whole time. Lily pointedly refused to look at Ivan, even as he kept glancing her way. This only increased the intensity of the scowls he gave Sergei, who was now keeping his focus solely on his plate, hoping that avoiding eye contact would also mean avoiding further confrontation. The only consolation Lily found in all of this was that most of the food was eaten, which was a testimony to her culinary skills.

When they were all finished, she stood up and gathered the dishes to take to the kitchen. Both men stirred in their seats, about to lend a hand. “I’ll do it myself tonight,” she said firmly.

“Lilechka…”

“No, I mean it. I want to do it myself right now. You just…sit.” She glanced at Sergei. “Why don’t you go get ready in the living room. I’ll bring out dessert and tea when everything’s done.”

Sergei nodded once and left promptly. He wasn’t about to linger and make things more awkward than they already were. Ivan’s eyes tracked him until he was out of sight. Then he looked to her as she pulled another bowl onto her pile. He reached over and took her hand in his. She stopped what she was doing and let him hold her hand, but she didn’t look at him. _At least she didn’t pull away_ , he thought.

“Lilechka, look at me. I didn’t mean to make you so mad.”

She frowned at the table rather than at him. After a time, she said, “Then you shouldn’t have gone off on him like that. You know how much I hate that. I wish you would just leave him alone, at the very least, even if you refuse to like him.”

Ivan was silent. He wouldn’t lie to her, but the truth could not be expressed so easily by a man like him. Maybe nothing was objectively wrong about the boy himself. Had they met under different circumstances, he might not have cared so much, or perhaps would even have liked him. However, within this reality, he was a living reminder to Ivan of his failure of a decade ago that had thrust him into this state: the angry old man who chased people away with his cane and his scowls, who only had one person in the world to care about him, and he couldn’t protect her like he used to.

He squeezed her hand. Then he pulled her gently toward him. She went willingly, and finally looked at him. “Lilechka…” he couldn’t find the words. What did he even want to say?

She looked at him, waiting. Then, when the silence continued, she sighed and pulled away gently. “No more yelling tonight, Ivan. Please. Please no more.” She gathered up the dishes and took them away. He put his face in his hands, which he propped up on the table. He looked up when heard her approaching again.

“Will you come sit and listen? I made bird’s milk.”

Ivan’s lips tugged at the corners. He did enjoy her desserts. He shook his head though. “I…I think it’s best if I don’t, considering…” He felt his heart being torn when the look of pain crossed her through her eyes.

“I suppose so,” she mumbled. She left without another word, nor did she give him a chance to respond.

Ivan sat in the silence. He felt anger broiling under his skin again. First at her, for walking away to go sit with Sergei. Then at Sergei, for coming into his house and causing the confrontations. If he hadn’t had to look at that pale, thin face of his, he wouldn’t have gone off and she wouldn’t have gotten mad. They could have had a nice evening together if Sergei wasn’t around.

As he stewed in his resentment, he slowly felt the stirrings of conflict within him. The more he tried to think of all the ways in which the boy had annoyed him, the more he realized that the problem truly resided within himself. He could have simply left Sergei alone and ignored him. Lily wouldn’t like it, but she would have accepted it. Instead, he had let his temper override him and picked a fight. All she had asked him to do was to let the evening be a nice one, and he couldn’t even give her that. He did not feel bad in the slightest for threatening Sergei, but he fully regretted making Lily upset, especially after she had clearly worked so hard all day, and had given him such a wonderful afternoon.

His dog put her large head on his lap and whined. He rubbed the top of her head. “I know, girl. I’m sorry. I already told you, I can’t tonight.” He hadn’t noticed it in the midst of his thoughts, but by now the notes of a beautifully played violin were reaching his ears. He leaned back and looked up at the ceiling with a sigh. Maybe it would be best if he turned in early. Then he wouldn’t feel tempted to go off on the boy again. But the longer he listened to the sweet and calming tune, the more he felt drawn to go out to them. If he went to bed without another word, she wouldn’t join him, he knew, and they would feel cold for several days, possibly longer. True, this conflict would be nothing compared to what Gurkovsky had put them through decades ago, but he still couldn’t bear the thought of it, not when it could be so easily remedied.

His dog whined again, but this time she was looking in the direction of the music and tilting her head. He smiled, almost chuckling as he rubbed her head. “Do you like it, girl? Yeah? I guess it is nice, isn’t it. But don’t tell him I said that, okay? That’s our secret. Heh, I ought to train you to eat him next time he comes. She’d forgive you sooner than she would me if you took him out.” She licked his hand and whined again. “What? You want to go listen? I guess we could. But I’m only doing it for you, my darling.”

He grunted and pulled himself up with his cane. The throbbing in his knee had gone down, but the ache was still present. He limped silently into the living room. While the dog trotted in and curled up on her bed, he paused in the doorway. He was behind the couch, and thus behind her. He saw her sitting and listening closely as Sergei, who stood before her, played the instrument with closed eyes and a serene look on his face. He must know the tune by heart to play without a single sheet of notes in front of him. He seemed to take no notice of Ivan as he walked around and took a spot on the corner of the couch, though Ivan was sure he saw him peek an eye open to keep track of his movements.

As Ivan sat, he looked over to Lily. There was still a gap between them. He wanted to see if she would close it. Instead, she stood up the second he sat down and walked away. He felt his anger surging up again and he was ready to stand and storm off.

But then, it stopped short. He blinked in surprise. She was coming back to him, holding a plate of cake and a cup of tea for him. She handed them to him with a smile and then sat right next to him, curling up by his side and wrapping her arms around him. She rested her head on him. “Mein Bär,” she whispered. In that instant, everything inside Ivan melted. He set the food on the table beside him so he could wrap his arms around her and press his forehead against the top of her head. All was forgiven between them and, had his knee been whole, he might have swept her up into his arms and spun her around the room. Instead, he would settle for kissing the top of her head and then stroking her hair with one hand while he ate with the other. When he had finished, she took his now free hand with hers and intertwined their fingers with a squeeze. And so they sat in each other’s arms, closing their eyes as they listened to the music.

No one was certain of how much time had passed when Sergei lowered the instrument. Indeed, it felt as though they existed in a bubble that was immune to the passage, or even the very notion of time. After a minute of silence, the couple stirred.

“That was wonderful, Sergei, just wonderful,” said Lily, “Thank you so much for this. It was such a gift. I hope you will be able to do it again for us.”

Sergei beamed, but then his eyes flicked to Ivan nervously. Ivan had been smiling during the performance, but now his expression was neutral. “It was…” he narrowed his eyes slightly, as though in pain on the inside. “Well, when I kill you, boy, I’ll be sure to have your guts turned into violin strings. Then you might contribute something to the field of music.”

Sergei, much to Ivan’s annoyance, actually smiled at the threat. “Thank you, sir. It would be an honor.”

Lily could feel Ivan tensing under her, and she hastened to wrap up this evening before it could explode again. “Well, well, Sergei. We can’t thank you enough for this. But I think it’s best if you head home now. It must be getting so late, and I want you to keep up with that new training we discussed. Get plenty of rest. Do you want to take any food?”

Sergei opened his mouth, but another glance at Ivan made him change his mind. He chuckled as he put his violin in its case. “Thank you, but I think I should decline. Your food was so good that if I took it, I would just eat it immediately, and then I would be too stuffed to train. But thank you for having me over for dinner, L—Agent Brandt. It was an honor. I’ll see myself out.”

Lily stood up and went over to pat him on the shoulder. She might normally have hugged him, but she knew that would annoy Ivan some more. They briefly discussed when they would see each other next. As he walked out and was passing Ivan, he nodded to him. “Thank you for having me here, sir.” He left before Ivan could find a retort for it. Lily sighed as they heard the door close and then she looked at Ivan. Ivan held her gaze, waiting for her to say something.

“Thank you, Vanya, for coming to listen. It means a lot that you did.”

He shifted and looked uncomfortable. “It…It would have been a shame to see that cake go to waste this evening. It was quite good.”

Lily smiled. She understood. “Well, I’m still glad you sat and listened. Now, I think I told you that tonight was special, but I still haven’t told you why.”

Ivan’s brows rose a bit. In all the chaos and anger, he had forgotten about that. “Oh, yes, that’s right. What’s so special now?” He couldn’t stop a smile from coming to his face when he saw her expression. She had a certain giddy smile, the one she always got when she was excited to surprise him with something. It was, in his mind, purely adorable.

“Well stay here. I’ll be back in a minute. In the meantime, take off your trousers.”

Ivan smirked and stood up right away, already undoing his belt. “Oh, Lilechka. Did you go to some naughty store while you were in Paris?”

Lily rolled her eyes as she looked back. “Sorry to disappoint, but no. It’s something better though. Just wait and be patient. You can sit again. And close your eyes.”

Ivan chuckled as she practically skipped out the door. He did as she asked. As he waited, he hummed the tune of the last song that Sergei had played, which had a bouncing beat to it. It was one he had never heard before. He wondered, though he would never ask, if the boy had written it himself.

He stopped humming when he heard her approaching. “You’re not doing a good job at sneaking up, dear. Even these old ears can hear you.”

“Oh stop. You know if I wanted to spook you I could. But you’re such an old bear now, I’d worry about giving you a heart attack. Okay, you can open your eyes.”

He did, and he was surprised to see her standing over him with a syringe in one hand and a vial of slightly blue (though it was almost clear) liquid in the other. He could not fathom what they were. “Have you come to poison me? Was that what all this was? Give me one final meal and some music to die to?”

She shook her head and knelt down beside his leg. “Sorry to disappoint, but I still prefer to keep my old bear living. No, this is, ah, this is something that will do quite the opposite…sort of.”

He frowned lightly and put his hand on her head. “You’re just going to have to explain, little koshka. I can’t figure it all out.”

She bit her lip. He could see that she was excited, but also nervous, as though worried it could all go wrong. He rubbed his thumb back and forth on her head and smiled. She smiled back. “Well, I’ve been working on this for such a long time, you know? Ever since you retired, actually. It was harder to work on back then, without a proper lab. But ever since you gave me that wonderful room, I’ve been able to really progress with it, and I finally got it down. It will make you so happy, I just know it.” The excitement was practically shining out of her eyes.

“You still haven’t said what it is, dear.”

“Will you let me inject it in you?”

He stared. Having needles poked into him under any context was not something he cared for, even less so when it involved an unknown substance. He had lost count of how many times it had been done to him in his youth, going through the academy, and even some times after, during his career. But then, this was Lily, the one person who would throw herself off a cliff first, just so she could cushion his fall. Squeezing her head lightly, he then lifted his hand and nodded his consent.

She filled the syringe half full of the liquid. Then, after rubbing the area around his knee with an alcohol wipe, she very carefully and precisely inserted the needle just above the joint. He barely felt anything as he watched her pump the substance into him and pull it out. She took care to make sure he and the equipment were all clean. Then she looked up at him. “You’ll, ah…you’ll know in a minute, I think. Maybe two.”

He frowned. He was beginning to suspect what she was hinting at, but he dared not get his hopes up. Surely, not even she could…his eyes widened as he felt it. Or, rather, as he didn’t feel it, for the pain had completely faded away. His knee almost felt new, aside from the fuzzy numbness. He stared down at it as he moved his foot up and down, an action that had been difficult for him this whole past decade. He looked at her and she was beaming.

“Does it work? It looks like it does. I mean, it worked on several broken arms and bullet wounds…I tested it out on so many, ah, _volunteers_ , whenever we were abroad. It’s taken so many years, but I had to make sure it was just right.”

Ivan was barely listening as he stood up, completely on his own. He swung his leg back and forth carefully and walked around the room. As he stopped in front of her, he was laughing from joy. He pulled her up from the floor and held her up, his arms tucked under her bottom as a support. He kissed her for a full minute. When he pulled back, it was just enough to talk, as their foreheads were pressed together. He laughed again. “My darling, my love, my sweet, sweet Lilechka. I can’t possibly thank you enough. There is nothing I could do that is worthy of this gift. You’ve given me my leg back.”

She opened her eyes and gazed into his. She loved when he held her this close, so they could look directly into one another’s eyes. “I’m just so happy it worked. Ever since we got the news, I’ve been trying to make something like it for you. I couldn’t bear the thought of you living in constant pain. But it was so difficult. I had to make sure everything was just right. And I didn’t want to get your hopes up or ruin the surprise if I was able to make it, so I had to keep it a secret. I almost gave up when nothing was working. But every day I saw you rubbing your knee, I knew I just had to make it. I wanted to make you happy, mein Bär.”

Ivan kissed her again. “Lilechka, you always make me happy. But this is like the icing on it all. I don’t deserve you.”

“Vanya, after all these years, I still wonder what I did to deserve a perfect man like you.” She poked the end of his nose. “But I am going to remind you of those words next time I drag you shopping.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, dear. You did always have a way of twisting a man’s words back on him.”

“Oh stop, you flatter me.” But she was beaming, as he knew she would. Then, although she still smiled, her expression gained a more serious tone. “I do need to tell you some things about it though. I want you to pay attention and listen to what I say.”

He shifted his arms under her as he adjusted his weight. “Go on.”

“For one, it’s not permanent, as you might guess. The longest I’ve seen it last is six, maybe seven hours. So it won’t keep it at bay the whole day. But you also can’t keep taking it all day, or even every day. It is safe, but I don’t know what taking so much of it would do. And it will take me time to make more. So you must only use it a few times a week for now, okay?”

He nodded once. “Even a temporary relief as good as this one is a wonderful gift.”

“Good. Now, I want you to promise me three more things.”

He raised his brows. “Three more? Do I need to sign a contract as well, or give you my credit card?”

She chuckled. “I already have your credit card, but I may contemplate that contract. First, I want you to promise you will follow my exact instructions on how to inject it, and make sure you sanitize everything, including yourself. I don’t want you to get an infection from this.”

“I wasn’t planning on somehow making my knee even worse, dear.”

“Promise me, Vanya.”

“Do I need to pinky swear like a little child?”

“You will if you keep avoiding this.”

“Fine, fine. I promise to follow your instructions and sanitize everything. What is your next demand?”

“Next you must promise to tell me instantly if there seems to be anything wrong with it, or if it causes you any harm. I must know, so I can make sure you’re safe and it doesn’t get worse. I don’t care how trivial it seems. Even if it’s a small rash, you must tell me. Promise?”

“Does it cause rashes?”

“An earlier version did, yes. But so far I haven’t seen it in any recent ones.”

“I suppose I should be grateful it was not my ass that was broken.”

“That’s still a possibility, my bear.”

He smirked and pinched her butt. She squealed and he laughed. “It’s still possible for you too, little kitten.”

“Vanyaaa.” She flicked him between his brows. “Stop avoiding the promise.”

“Okay, okay.” He pinched her again and laughed as she squirmed and muttered at him. “I promise to tell you if it causes anything bad. Even a rash on my ass.”

“You…you’re a vulgar old bear, you know.”

“Maybe. But I know you enjoy it. And you’re just as bad, if not worse.”

She huffed. “I will deny that accusation. But there’s still one more promise you have to make.”

“Have I become some genie in a bottle without my knowledge?” When she gave him a look, he rolled his eyes, but did so with a smile. “And what is your final wish, my little chemist?”

She sighed and looked at him seriously. “This is the most important one. If you don’t agree to it, I will not make any more. You must understand that this is only a pain reliever. It’s not going to heal your knee. So it’s _vital_ that you avoid doing anything that could injure you further. That means being careful when you exercise, and not lifting too much or running too hard. It also means not getting into big physical fights. You can’t go back to what you were like before. This is meant to give you relief, and maybe a little more freedom.”

He stared at her in silence for a time, and she looked directly back into his eyes. He knew that she knew what had begun going through his mind. It would not be a shock to anyone that, without the constant pain around, he had begun to imagine having his life back the way it had been. For a second, he may even have hoped to join her on a mission again. All that disappeared with her words. He felt an initial anger start to brew. Why would she give him such a hope, only to snatch it away and hold it over his head as a threat? What right did she have to nag him like this?

 _No, that’s not right,_ he thought. _She isn’t doing any of that. She just knows me too well._ Of course she would have known that his first thought was to jump back into action. He craved it like a greyhound craved a field to run through. He had been bred for it, and it was so ingrained in his mind that, even with the pain he lived with, he wouldn’t hesitate to get into a fight at least once a month, even ones he barely made it out of. And every time, she was right there for him the minute he got home, ready to scold him as she bandaged him up. And even as he grouched back at her nagging, he felt guilty for causing her so much worry. _She just wants me to stay alive and healthy. She can’t stand seeing me hurt. She did this to make me happy. Don’t I owe her at least this much, if not much, much more?_

He closed his eyes momentarily as he internally relented. Then he opened them again and looked into hers. “I promise. I promise I will not do anything rash, or overexert my knee, or get into more fights. But I won’t promise not to kick around an ass or five when they need it.”

She kissed him gently on the lips. “That’s my old bear. Thank you. And when you do need to kick a few asses, I hope this makes it a little more satisfying.”

“It better, for the high price you’re charging for it.”

She leaned forward and tucked her head between her arm and his neck. “You know I would give you nothing but the best, my bear.”

He nuzzled the top of her hair. “I know,” he whispered, intending the words more for himself than for her. He held her up like that in silence for several minutes, simply enjoying the feel of it. It had been a long time since he had been able to hold her in his arms without pain, and a surge of emotion rushed through him as though he was only now realizing how much it meant to him to have this pleasure. With his face hidden in her hair, he smiled.

He kissed to top of her head gently as he pulled his face away. She looked up. “Well,” he said, “let’s not just stand here all night. I have a working knee again and I want to put it to use.”

She smiled. “What do you have in mind? Anything you want.”

Ivan’s eyes darted around the room, but then settled on his dog, who was staring up at him with large eyes. “I owe someone very precious a great long walk. The sun is just setting. It will be the perfect time.”

“Oh of course! I know she’s missed running through the park with her Papa. I’ll get our coats.” Ivan let her down gently and she trotted off. He looked at his dog with a huge smile.

“You wanna go for a walk, my princess? Hmm? Do you?” He laughed as the word “walk” registered with the giant beast and she woofed and wiggled her entire body in excitement. She ran to the front door without being told and Ivan, for the first time in a while, ran after her, laughing as he did. He was grabbing her leash as Lily came through with the coats and boots. It took them little time to head out. Ivan held the leash in one hand, and Lily’s hand in the other.

They spent close to two hours at the park. Ivan took the chance to jog (Lily insisted he not run, at risk of damaging his joint unknowingly) with his dog as much as she desired. Being as large as she was, she had plenty of energy to get out. It was truly dark and the temperature had dropped significantly by the time they returned. After opening the gate and letting the dog in, Ivan held up his hand to block Lily’s path. She looked up at him.

“About how many hours would you say I have left?”

“Three is the safest bet. Four is the longest you might get, but I make no promise on it. Why? What else did you want to do?”

He was staring into the space in front of him, his jaw set in the way that indicated he was thinking. “I want to show my gratitude to you. I want you to know how much this means to me.”

“Vanya, you know you don’t have to do that. I did it because I love you. I don’t need anything in return, other than just seeing you as happy as you were today.”

Ivan sighed and pulled her in by her waist. As he stared into her eyes, he wondered, not for the first time in his life, what he had done to deserve her. “I am going to show you how much I love you, and you won’t say no.” He lifted her chin up with his knuckles, in the way he knew always excited her. He kissed her long and slow. He still held her chin when they pulled apart. “I’m going to do everything that you always loved to do before my knee went bad. Every little pleasure that the pain prevented me from giving you, it will be yours tonight. When I am done, you may need some of the medicine for yourself.” He was pleased to feel a tremor of excitement go through her.

“Vanya, I—“

He put a finger to her lips. “Shh. You won’t argue tonight, Lilechka. Let me do this for you. You deserve it.” He moved his hand to cup her face. “You deserve the world.”

“All I want is you.”

“And that’s what you’re going to get. All of me. No holding back.” With that, he scooped her up into his arms to carry her in. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Vanya, you don’t need to carry me. The weight isn’t good for your knee.”

He gave her a look. “Lilechka, the weekly groceries weigh more than you. A box of kittens would weigh more than you.” He brought her up to kiss her again as he walked. “And I told you, no arguing tonight. We’ve had enough today.”

She smiled. “Now that I will agree with.” She reached up to poke his cheek playfully. “You really think an old bear like you can please a hot, young woman like me? I wouldn’t want to collapse too quickly or have a heart attack.”

Ivan was smirking as he took her over the threshold of the door and closed it with his back. He squeezed her to his chest and leaned down to nip her earlobe with his teeth. He practically purred into her ear. “Darling, by the time this is over, you’ll be the one who’s out of breath. You’re going to scream my name so loudly, all the little office girls will hear it from their houses.”

Her eyes widened. She put a hand on his cheek and turned his head to kiss him. “Then stop dawdling. We don’t have all night.” With a grin, he carried her straight to the bedroom, not about to lose even one more precious minute with the greatest gift life had ever given him.


End file.
